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Yes, I Have A Penis

Do not assume (if I hold the door for you),
that I am making a statement
about your inabilities
to open the door for yourself.
If you hold it for me,
I'll say 'thankyou'.

Do not assume (if I pay for the meal),
that I am underestimating
your earning capacity
as a woman.
If you invite me out for a meal,
you're paying.

Do not assume (if I defend your rights),
that I am belittling
the attempts that you have made
to defend your rights yourself.
If you defend my rights,
I'll consider you human.
Inspired by my female tutor, who told me that, as a male, I had no place arguing in favour of women's rights.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2009-03-08
~Superiorflowerpower -- Yes, I Have a Penis.

So what? ( Featured by fllnthblnk )
:iconkaslin:
Kaslin Featured By Owner 6 days ago
*tips fedora*
Reply
:iconphilhitchings:
philhitchings Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2015
Has she never heard of advocacy?
Reply
:iconcrow-decelerates:
Crow-Decelerates Featured By Owner Edited Jul 17, 2015  New Deviant
Fabulous!
I open the door for people whether or not they have a penis.
And if my penis is lost in a freak kitchen accident,
I will still open the door for people with or without penises.
In fact, in future, as they pass through the open door,
I think I shall stop asking them if they have a penis.
Reply
:icondes-laids-des-laids:
Des-Laids-Des-Laids Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2015  New Deviant  General Artist
Spot on! Nice one! :)
Reply
:iconmywordsmyfeelings:
MyWordsMyFeelings Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Perfection. She needs to think about what she teaches, because that's not true. And you're awesome for defending women's rights and being a gentleman.
Reply
:iconandrewtodaro:
andrewtodaro Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2015  Professional Artisan Crafter
Wow! you can say "penis" on this site? Amazing!
Reply
:iconxsjb:
xsjb Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
One criticism: You can be a male without having a penis. You can have a penis without being a male.
Reply
:iconthatpinkpartypony:
ThatPinkPartyPony Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Very nice!
Reply
:iconbookchick0:
bookchick0 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2015  New Deviant Student Writer
I really enjoyed this. Wanna go out for a meal? ;P
Reply
:iconstarburstia:
starburstia Featured By Owner Edited Jul 8, 2015
You can definitely support women's rights. However, you can't speak FOR women. Just like white people can't speak for black people, but can definitely support equality. 

Also, I doubt holding the door open is anywhere near a feminist issue, dude. That sure is choosy. 
Reply
:iconmywordsmyfeelings:
MyWordsMyFeelings Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
For some holding a door is an issue. I've met a few who can't believe I let a guy hold the door for me (a girl) and then said thank you to him for being kind. So I see the point being made.
Reply
:iconstarburstia:
starburstia Featured By Owner 2 days ago
Right.

That sounds real. Nonetheless, I personally see it as common courtesy, gender or not?? Then if youre a girl no problem you can speak on experienced sexism. If you have never experienced sexism, I really really envy you, but I still have observed it's existence. Especially in the job market and older folks? 

As for personal issues, I have a huge concern with the cultural part of girls being 'fair game' all the time, everywhere, somewhat like an object to be passed around and touched and generally disrespected in ludicrous ways. 

Example: just the other day I was in a ticket line at a movie theatre and a random guy started stroking my hair.  I was talking to my friend, who is a guy!! ANd this guy gently shoves in between us to get better access to my hair. Out of nowhere. When I swat his arm he just stared at me going, "It's so silky." And kept staring at me until his friend, rightfully embarrassed, starting whisper yelling at him. He only listened to his friend, and not me, when I said, "No. Don't touch me."  ???????????????

The day before that some crazy old guy followed me around a gas station asking to be my girlfriend, rambling about his alleged fortunes in L.A. and other such bull, and I had to scare him off with a gas hose to get back in my car, because THATS HOW CLOSE HE WAS.  BETWEEN THE GAS PUMP AND MY FRONT DOOR.

Within the VERY SAME DAY a carful of dudes pulled up in another gas station, started making weird noises in my direction, and while I was filling up my gas thing starting yelling some stuff at me while sprinting in my direction like a bunch of crazy people. I have never counted seconds faster as I was freaking trying to finish filling up my gas pump, slammed the door, and had to wait for them to get off my car before zooming out of there. THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN TO A GUY.

The week before that I was in a bookstore and this one guy was following me around, muttering really loudly under his breath, ''appearing'' in every section I showed up to, even when I kinda sprinted, until I started hovering really close around the policeman stationed there. 

I'm not even going to TALK about grocery store lines.

These are the issues I'm referring to, it sounds ridiculous, but I can't even make this shit up! It's astounding! These were in three different cities, too, I was travelling back to my apartment. These happen while I have friends with me, to witness this, and even my guy friends are astounded by how many people just freaking feel like they have the right to touch me if I stand still too long, like stroking my hair or my arm or talking to me about my butt or something, like they are literally standing there, watching these creeps with their mouth open while I prove that sexism exists. 

It's just extremely weird???

What is wrong with this picture???
Reply
:iconmywordsmyfeelings:
MyWordsMyFeelings Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Wow... I have no words.
Reply
:iconroseejwells:
RoseEjWells Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist Writer
Well, your tutor was obviously, a rather misguided person. Apparently she missed the point entirely.
Reply
:icongrr7997:
GRR7997 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for this. And I hope you don't mind me saying that your teacher needs to shut up. It is that kind of talk that is making people think that feminism is man hate, it is NOT man hate! At least it is not supposed to be. 
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:iconmarek276:
marek276 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2015
Genius !!! You have States everything do clear <3
Reply
:iconrickrmorlet:
RickRMorlet Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2015
im offensive and find this feminist. i give you a llama anyway 
Reply
:iconpervertbunnies:
PervertBunnies Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2015  Student General Artist
2 inch
Reply
:icondocheli:
docheli Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
So true. Feminism is good overall, but women need to understand that what men do is not usually a sexist statement
Reply
:iconnightshade678:
Nightshade678 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I love what you write here. The way I see it, some women just aren't grateful that men, or anyone else, would open a door, pay for a meal, or even defend them. As a woman, it makes my day when my guy friends do these very things and much more for me and my other girl friends. I commend you! :D
Reply
:iconstarburstia:
starburstia Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2015
As a women, I hate getting sex zoned. I appreciate courtesy. I, too, hold open doors. 

Sexism: solved.
Reply
:iconnoirbloome:
noirbloome Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2015
love!
Reply
:iconjess2lucky:
Jess2Lucky Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
OH MY GOD, i absolutely love this. bravo, man, bravo.

lmao, it's sad that we live in a world where this poem is a necessity.
Reply
:icondocheli:
docheli Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I agree with you. But I don't think feminist are that bad either. Its just that women have been treated unfairly for a long time, and sometimes need to overcompensate, but this sometimes just gets to be a little to much overcompensation.
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:iconjess2lucky:
Jess2Lucky Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
true, true. i think it's one of those things that will always be around (like racism) no matter what changes are made. you know, we always want better for ourselves.

but i agree; i don't think all feminists are bad. like every group of people, there are the good, chill people, who are genuinely striving for a peaceful change, and then there are the extremists. the feminists who are simply striving for gender/sex equality (i don't know what the hell we're calling it these days, so many freaking labels to keep track of) are the ones i'm alright with, and dare i say, support.
Reply
:iconstarburstia:
starburstia Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2015
Race was literally made up. 
Reply
:icondocheli:
docheli Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
So true. Almost anything is good as long as it doesn't go to far.
Reply
:iconthedarkgallade:
TheDarkGallade Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2015  Student Digital Artist
me to and I'm a feminist
Reply
:iconnayawhovian1016:
NayaWhovian1016 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this poem... So many people think that feminism is about saying that women should be treated better than men and that women are superior, but as a feminist, I personally feel that all feminism really says is that all people, male and female, ought to be treated the same. I love that this poem explains this from the point of view of a man who has been treated badly these fake feminists.
Reply
:iconcrow-decelerates:
Crow-Decelerates Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2015  New Deviant
I feel more involved now I have a daughter, so I am able to insist she is given equal opportunity. She's also very feminine, which is a natural delight!
Before having children, I felt very separate from Conversations About Gender Issues, and certainly ill qualified to venture any opinion, tainted as I was by the permanent (hidden) presence of my pork sword.
Reply
:iconpartical0:
partical0 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2015
your teacher is a fucking moron then. that's my personal and professional opinion. these feminazis need to be crushed.
Reply
:iconskylifeart:
SkyLifeArt Featured By Owner May 26, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this poem
Reply
:icongirl-in-a-mask-69:
girl-in-a-mask-69 Featured By Owner May 26, 2015
Thank you! Equal right mean equivalent! No one is better than anyone!
Reply
:iconcheifsrock56:
cheifsrock56 Featured By Owner May 5, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You know there was a great author who also wrote about his penis. He was the great poet Catullus and consequently he compared it to a sparrow. Weird right?
Reply
:iconemmy4852:
emmy4852 Featured By Owner May 4, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Last Visit: 202 weeks ago


  • This guy isn't going to read any of your comments.
Reply
:iconbitethebat:
BiteTheBat Featured By Owner May 3, 2015
This is masterfully planned out and thought. I also have a penis and as someone with a penis I'd like to thank you just for writing this. I'm glad someone has a view similar to mine. A view where penises and vaginas are penises and vaginas and not just some type of rating on how good a person is. Manism,Feminism,these are things in the real world where people take one side over the other when really we should all have the same side because we all just want to live with success. We all are human. I really like this free verse poem.
Reply
:iconscorpiol13:
scorpiol13 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Good comeback! That's like when I support gay marriage but I'm not gay, or when i argue #BlackLivesMatter but I'm a white chick, or even protecting children from human trafficking which I gave never experienced. We don't have to be anything but human being to defend others. For that matter, I am an animal rights activist! I don't think the animals mind...I think they are quite grateful if they had means to express as much.
Reply
:icontokoru-chan:
Tokoru-chan Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2015
Me as a girl agree That sometimes I would go to dinner and incest on paying because I asked to go but usually the guy asked to go out and i don't like guys holding the door for me I think that's how society sees as a gentlemen but what i see as a gentlemen is the heart he gives back to you.
Reply
:iconmarcionix:
marcionix Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap 
Never before, i fav a poetry, until now!

Give that sir one lhama!
Reply
:iconburning-question:
Burning-Question Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I concider myself oldschool feminist and I really like this. ^^
Reply
:iconcakebomb25:
Cakebomb25 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015
Inb4 feminists say "Stop oppressing us with your patriarchal poetry! All men should just die or turn into women!"
Reply
:iconstarburstia:
starburstia Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2015
.....in what universe? r u an mra
Reply
:iconcakebomb25:
Cakebomb25 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2015
I'm making fun of a certain someone who must not be named...
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:iconjacob134:
jacob134 Featured By Owner May 23, 2015
Harsh chica. :( I mean yeah, i know we ain't perfect, but damn, we have feelings too!
Reply
:iconcakebomb25:
Cakebomb25 Featured By Owner May 23, 2015
I'm not a woman, i was just talking about femenists.
Reply
:iconjacob134:
jacob134 Featured By Owner May 23, 2015
Regardless, a heartbroken woman will read my comment someday and realise not all guys are assholes... just the ones she dated. :P
Reply
:iconstarburstia:
starburstia Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2015
What do ex boyfriends have to do with feminism. 
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:iconjacob134:
jacob134 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2015
The thing is some women are "feminist" and i use the term loosely, because they believe my Y chromosome  and I are an inferior species, undeserving to live on this planet, all because some schmuck they dated in high school cheated on them.

They believe that being a feminist means hating men, i was just trying to show some clarification that men have the same feelings as woman. We just don't cry in public.
Reply
:iconstarburstia:
starburstia Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2015
Ok but consider this: no. 

Feel free to feel victimized, but alas, society does not consider you an inferior species. Congrats. Usually women are considered inferior. In drive, in intelligence, in strength. So your issue seems personal and because some schmuck you dated in high school argued with you. 

Actually, a lot of feminists believe feminism means equality for both sexes, so you're kinda off base all around. 

If you really in reality did meet a feminist that said "your Y chromosone makes you an undeserving species unfit to live on this planet" despite logic and common sense, I'm sorry they said that. That's kind of out there. I don't endorse it. 

But it doesn't change the fact that's not what most feminists will say to you. If it's simply what you percieve, give me a fucking break. 
Reply
:iconjacob134:
jacob134 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2015
O_o Look, I was never victimised, I'm a computer nerd who barely leaves his room, ever. I've never had a girlfriend so i got no exes to be angry at. I've barely ever had a crush.

I got no beef with you, but if you think my comment was a personal attack on all feminists then, pardon my french, go fuck yourself and grow the fuck up.

My *personal* grievance is with a chick in high school who would accuse every other guy she walked into that he was a sexist bastard and she kicked me in the nuts because i held the door open for her one time. Her argument was that, in doing so, i was saying that she was incapable of opening the door herself and that I should respect women more often. That was her version of "feminism".

I'm not an idiot despite what you may believe, i know not all feminists are like that, some of them are actually quite sweet and kind and one of them got me an ice packet for my poor nutsack.

That said, don't talk down to me like you know me. My comment was for fun, but you've searched for a deeper meaning behind it that does not exist and irritated me in the process so please leave me alone. Hope never to hear from you again. Cheers. :)
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